New Beginnings

New Year's Resolutions

I resolve to gasp at the colors of sunsets,

to love the people I love just a little better,

to lose the weight of hurts and disappointments,

to write more,

to laugh more,

to whine less,

to give thanks every day,

to embrace passion,

to push through fear,

to believe things can change

and to work for that change,

in the spirit and power of the One

who is always making all things new.

SS

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Pond Therapy

       The above photo depicts a dark pond with swirling algae and mirrored tree images - a type of pseudo Monet abstract.  I watch the swirls slowly change shape and size and realize I find it comforting as a Zen symbol of remaining fluid to life’s changes. New research by Harvard researcher Daniel Gilbert suggests that people generally fail to appreciate how much their personality and values will change in the years ahead — even though they recognize that they have changed in the past. I think this is fascinating, this human tendency to always think we’ve arrived or have everything figured out when our recreations of ourselves happen throughout our lives. 

       Dating again after 25 years is bringing this painfully home to me. It’s like change on steroids - the kind of change you experience in your early 20s. I’m having to be open to being sized up and sizing up other people with histories, likes and preferences of their own. A friend of mine jokes she'd never divorce her husband because it took too long to get him trained. Another friend stays single because she doesn't want to have to change.

       I figure the change is coming anyway. I open my arms to the movement. 

       And hope I don't drown.

DB

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What I am suggesting here is that everything in your life is a stepping-stone to holiness if only you recognize that you do have within you the grace to be present to each moment.  

                                                                                ~ Macrina Wiederkehr

     It's time to make a New Year's resolution, to turn over a new leaf.  Friends are resolving to "eat less, move more,"  to get in shape,  to finally get organized. Maybe I was feeling tired on New Year's Day, but my resolution this year is simply to live from a deeper place.  To slow down, breathe, pay attention to the moments.  It's not a measurable goal.  It's not very specific.  At least two people have asked me "But what does that mean?"  

      I've come to realize that writing this blog is a spiritual discipline in and of itself. Whether it's been a holy week or more of a hell of a week, I'm forced to write something down.  I have to find a moment of seeing the holy in the frantic busy-ness of life.  Some weeks, when I really think I've got nothing, a moment always opens up - but only because I am desperately paying attention.  For me, writing helps me to live from a deeper place. Writing forces me to put wispy fragments of thought into cohesive sentences and to think more intentionally about the ordinary fragments of my life. 

       As we begin a new year here at Ordinary Wonders, Dawn, Stacy and I thank you all for sharing our moments.  You keep us going!

AF

It's October!

     There are dozens of things I love about my church community. This is one of them. Every week at their meeting, our staff take time to pray for certain members of the church. I don't know how many, or how they choose, or how often any one member gets prayer. I only know that every time I get one of these cards letting me know they prayed for me, it is always in a week that I need prayer more than usual. Last week was a stressful time of waiting and worrying. It was made a little easier from knowing that Deanna, Don, Sandi, and Woody talked to God about me, and believing that God was listening.

SS

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Lessons from Sitting Bull

     Some days I’m amazed at what a great single mom I am.

     Others, I’m frankly appalled.

     It’s one of those days for me, of the latter kind. I crawl into bed at 10:45 p.m. having gotten everyone fed, ‘homeworked,’ ‘soccered’ and asleep. I pick up my journal relishing these 15 minutes I’ll be able to stay awake before passing out. Picking up my cell phone that functions as my second brain, I’m shocked to see the date.  Something important happens tomorrow, but what? I try to shake the feeling of foreboding.

      Then I sit straight up in bed.

      Sitting Bull. My youngest son’s life-size project is due not in two days as I thought, but tomorrow. He’s sound asleep in his room, and this is my screw up. I go downstairs, speed read his book, type up the points he’s already done, adding a few more, and hunt down craft items. Stumbling into bed at 1 a.m., I set the alarm for 5 a.m. assembling the family to frantically paste on hair, jewelry, loin cloth, moccasins and a Sitting Bull face.  I dress, feed kids and fend the dog off Sitting Bull until he can dry. Wrestling him into the back seat of the car, I say a prayer that nothing falls off. Privately I continue my inner chatter on what a mess I’m making of things. As luck would have it as I escort Sitting Bull into school, the principal rounds the corner and wants to see our masterpiece.

     “I just love seeing these projects.” She smiles at me. “Aren’t they fun?”

      I smile not trusting myself to speak and unroll the paper hoping body parts have remained in the right places. I look down to see my son beaming, and for the first time in hours give myself a moment of grace. He’ll probably never remember this Sitting Bull project, but I will. I fix a wisp of Sitting Bull’s hair and know he’d understand that life’s not always fair. Sometimes we just do the imperfect, best thing we can to take care of our own.

DB

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Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, 

but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.        

                                                                                      ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

     We noticed them as we walked through the dunes to the beach. Butterflies were everywhere - yellow gulf fritillaries,  brown skippers and orange brush footed queens.  A few brave flyers followed us out to skim over the waves.  I've walked this beach many times but this was new.

     On our way back, after a long, chatty walk on the beach, one of the queens landed on the back of my friend's hat and stayed.  The butterfly posed on the top of her white cap for several minutes while we snapped photos.  Then, off into the wind and on to another flower.  It was a moment of pure delight, more for us than for Chris; she couldn't see the butterfly until we showed her the pictures of the back of her head. 

     We paused our walk for a moment of wonder - a piece of flying happiness.  Moments like this remind us of the goodness of life and deserve to be savoured.

AF

Star Wars, strangers, and sunflowers

     I had been looking forward to the Friday after my birthday ever since

my friend Sarah told me she had a surprise planned for that night. I

love surprises, whether I am on the giving or receiving end of them.

All I knew was that she was picking me up at 6:00, I did not need to

dress up, and we were going downtown. Having vast experience with my

tendency toward tardiness, Sarah had purposely set the pick-up time

earlier than we actually needed to leave. As she'd predicted, I was

still getting ready when she arrived. But by about 6:15, we were

headed downtown to some mystery destination. After weaving through

tourist traffic, we finally found a garage with room for us to park

and started walking down Meeting Street. By the time we passed the

locksmith shop with all the keys pressed into the sidewalk, I

suspected we were heading for Theatre 99. Sure enough, we went behind

the bike shop and climbed the stairs to the small theatre. It was only

after the usher had torn our tickets that Sarah handed me mine and I

saw my surprise revealed! We were about to see The One Man Star Wars Trilogy!

     For the next hour, we listened and laughed as geeky comedian Charlie

Ross reenacted the original Star Wars movies on an empty stage, doing

character voices, sound effects, music, and inside jokes. I had tears

of laughter running down my cheeks by the end. It was the perfect

birthday present. I know the Star Wars movies backward and forward,

and Sarah knows well my geeky obsession with them. That was the best

part of the gift, I think. She knows I love surprises, knows I'm

always running late, knows I'm a Star Wars fanatic. The being known

meant as much as the experience itself. Sarah is also someone who

knows how selfish and petty I can be, who has been snapped at when I'm

in a bad mood, who has taken care of me when I was sick. Isn't that

what all of us want -- to know that someone else cares enough to learn

who we are, from the trivial quirks to the shameful secrets, and still

stay with us? It is my deepest desire, if I'm honest. My heart

flutters with longing when I read Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 13:12,

"Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been

fully known." I am thankful for the few friends who truly know me,

hopeful that one day I will know and be known by a husband, and

praying that in God my deepest desire finds it deepest answer.

SS

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"I was a stranger and you invited me in."  Matthew 25:35

     People normally don't invite strangers into their homes.  Strangers are people you have never met, never talked to,  never laid eyes on.  And yet...

     This week we are in Austin, Texas, apartment shopping for our youngest daughter who will be attending graduate school at the University of Texas in Austin in the fall. (Hook 'em Horns!)  My extroverted, well-networked husband sent out a plea on Facebook to all his friends in Texas for any help in locating an apartment.  We received lots of helpful advice and one amazing offer.  

     One of Don's friends contacted another friend, an Austin local, to ask for advice.  That wonderful artist friend not only offered a potential apartment site, but also invited us to stay at her house while we visited Austin and looked around.  She and her family planned to be gone during the days we were in Texas and offered us the use of her charming art-filled home in the historic Hyde Park district...that is, if we wouldn't mind feeding the cat while we were here.  We were strangers with at least two degrees of separation.  We had never met and communicated only by email.  

      A friend of a friend offered her empty house, wi-fi password,  and even instructions for the coffee pot. She welcomed us into a home away from home.  Hopefully, on a later visit to Austin, we will meet, maybe have dinner and become friends.  But for, now, we were weary travelers and a stranger invited us in. 

AF

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Lean Forward

"Lean forward into your life... Just tip your feathers a wee bit and see how dramatically that small lean can change your life."

                                                                      -Mary Anne Radmacher

     I like to meditate on visual images, particularly ones in nature that keep reappearing on my path. For the past two weeks, that image has been sunflowers. I was delighted to find a vase of them at Sea Biscuit Cafe on the Isle of Palms, where I like to sneak off on some early mornings when I'm on that side of town. They are so bright and cheery, brash and bold, dominating wherever they are. 

     I like how they catch me unexpected, their tall size allowing them sneak peeks over fences.  

     I like how they lean into the light and seek out the light. They remind me that my day will go down in great part based on how I orient myself to the light.

     I like how the spirals of seeds in the sunflower heads feel soothing to me.             Mathematicians study them with their special pattern of numbers called the Fibonacci sequence. I just like how ordered and calm everything seems at their center.

     Mostly, I like how they remind me to just be happy - the way, before worry and/or the daily grind dominates a day, we were created to be.

DB